BUT. Today, as I was taking a lovely leisurely mid afternoon bath, I had a sudden hatez. And here it is:
Whilst in the bath tub, I glanced over at my Herbal Essences bottle and noticed a fun little trivia fact they put on the bottle. It read: "What do %80 of women do on Valentine's day? Answer: Send themselves flowers" And this conversation played in my head:
Unthinking Jen: Man, why are women so pathetic? Who would send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day?
Thinking Jen: Maybe some lonely, early thirties lady who wants people at her office to think she has a significant other, and uses a made up holiday to validate herself via leading people to believe she's in a relationship.
Unthinking Jen: But why does a woman need a man to validate her existence? That's a bunch of bullshit. Women need to stand up and be comfortable with who they are! We don't need no stinking men!
Thinking Jen: Oh. Fuck. I sound like a feminist.
I just think feminists are annoying. Do you deny the fact that women are obviously less strong than men so there are certain tasks they cannot do? Do you not think that women are better suited to take care of children considering the fact that they are the ones with a natural capability to feed them? Do you not think your time could be better spent fixing your hair or buying a nice, cute dress so you could maybe get a boyfriend? Sure, you don't want to be treated like shit just because you have a vagina, but why not spend your time preaching respect for all other human beings, as it would include you? And let's be honest, people that are as self-righteous as feminists never accomplish anything anyway, so someone tell them to shave their legs already.
My next hatez is
Okay, I get it. Life's a garden, dig it! One life to live! Whatever. I actually condone everyone going through that "Fuck everything I'll do what I want and look disgusting phase"...to a point. When you're like, 35, give it up. When it's been over a week since you've washed your hair/taken a shower/shaved, give it up. When, once again, you wouldn't go out to dinner with your parents, GIVE IT UP. To these man-boys, have you ever noticed the quality of female looking like this attracts? News flash, it's not that all women suck or are idiots (although a lot of them are terrible), it could potentially be the fact that you look totally and completely disgusting and your life is a mess. Really unattractive. And even the most "down" girl ever can think you're cool to talk to, but I'm willing to bet that she wouldn't give you the time of day in the way of the sack. Just quit being gross. Really. Please. You look stupid.
My only lovez for the day is
Obviously, I like her because she gave birth to me, and call me crazy, but I think that's a pretty nice gift. Also, she's really, really fucking cool. Cooler than your mom, I guarantee it. I have more fun hanging out with he than any of my friends. You could potentially think I have shitty friends or that this fact is sad, but, whatever, fuck you. She's just a cool lady, a cool person and, most important of all:
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