Thursday, July 1, 2010

Today I'm in a pretty good mood because I took a nap at work and had a nice BM. Therefore, I lovez:

Pancakes

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Dude. Don't tell anybody. I'm a big hater of breakfast, but pancakes are just fucking delightful. You know, when you first get them and they're still warm. Man, I imagine that's as awesome as what a 14 year old boy having sex for the first time feels. Most people have sex at 14, right? That's totally normal, right? Shit. I will say, however, that I do NOT eat syrup on pancakes. That shit is disgusting. Strawberries allllll the way, homes.



SURFING!

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Man, surfing is so awesome. I think. I've never actually done it, but, God does it look cool. Like, just gliding on top of the water, being all tan and sporty. I'm jealous. If I were a surfer, I wouldn't pay money for a tan, to get my hair dyed blonde, or for a gym membership and it would also be acceptable for me to say "like" as much as I want and be stupid. This is my dream life.
There are a few down sides, though. Mainly that you have to be in the ocean and be out in the sun all day. Also, fuck sharks. Scariest things ever.
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Oh, it's also not laying on the couch in sweatpants watching TV, so I don't know if I'm into actually doing it, but it's totally one of those things that I'll say I want to do so people think I'm "that type", when in all reality I'm an unadventurous heffer. WOMP WOMP.


The only thing I hatez today is

The Debbie Downer friend

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I don't think this one of those types of friends that every group has because most people try to avoid them. You know, they're that asshole that always has something negative to say, can't ever have fun doing anything, and shits all over everyone else's fun. This might sound a lot like me, but there's a difference between us, perhaps only slight, but it still exists: I do this to be funny, and not because I'm a miserable bitch. I just think being mean to people is funnier than poop jokes. Everyone has their own style of humor, and mine is being a H8R. I'm not a Debbie Downer, though, because when in the right circumstances (think: hanging out at a bar with a bunch of my girlfriends doing shots of whiskey and bullshitting with a bartender) I am buckets and buckets of silly, pleasant fun. I actually don't care about writing about hating Debbies anymore, because now I'm too busy thinking about the last time that I went out with my girlfriends. They had to stop my from getting in a limo full of dudes in Ed Hardy button-ups trying to give me Four Lokos. God, I'm the funnest girl ever!