I hatez
Disney "Stars"

It's just such bullshit. They're cute little girls and all, but they suck at everything they do. They're not good actresses, and NONE of them can sing. But mainly, I hate them because I'm jealous. When I was fifteen, I just wanted to wear really expensive clothes and not go to school. And I wanted to be loaded for the rest of my life. Then, when I hit seventeen, I wanted to get fucked up all the time and dress like a whore. Man, these kids are livin' the life. Is there a God? Why does he hate me? I'll wear glitter and hair extensions. Disney doesn't like people past 17, you say? Fuck you, Disney. Fuck you really hard.

Sour Candy

Fuck. This. You'll probably disagree with me because sour candy probably reminds you of when you were young and stupid and liked the pain this shit causes, but I wasn't a moron like you. I do not like that it squeezes my jaws and hurts, I don't like that it gives you those little bumps in your mouth, and I don't like that it makes my teeth all squeaky and gross. 'Nuff said.

Lastly,
SONIC


can eat a dick.


I LOVEZ:

John motherfucking Mayer

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Now, don't take that as I find him attractive. I don't. I actually think he looks sort of trollish or something. But, I would still have his children. He is sexy. And I don't really say that because it sounds pretty gay, but it's true in his case. Also, he's smart, funny, and he's like, insightful and caring and deep. Or at least that's how I paint him in my mind? I have yet to experience John Mayer live, because one of two things would happen: I would either literally secrete my pants off and/or get arrested for sexual molestation. Not many people have this effect on me, so I'll admit the shit when it happens.

Kittens

What is there to say really? I luz them. They cute. And because of lolCats, when I see them I only want to speak in internet lingo, and that's just funny.

Today I hate a lot.
Lady Gaga


No, bitch, I don't like you. I don't like that Christina Aguilara got shit for trying to copy you because you suck and homegirl wouldn't make that mistake. I don't like that you're always half naked and I don't like that you think singing about being drunk and losing your keys and your man is cool, because frankly, I don't care about either. You and Katy Perry should really start a clothing line together. You could call it "Dressed Like An Idiot". Or make it something more poppy and fun and aimed towards your demographic. Either way, I have faith that both of you will keep poisoning the minds of people who are just generally probably trying to drive their cars but because popular radio eats dick, they are forced to hear your mind numbingly stupid music.


Perez Hilton

My reasons for hating Perez Hilton should be obvious: he is rich from doing nothing, whilst I am not. Oh, yes, it does go much deeper. I assume he thinks the shit he writes about anyone cares about (I know you care about what I have to say because I am wonderful and awesome, so this judgment doesn't apply to me). And I also assume he thinks naming celebrity couples things like "Brangelina" and drawing cum leaking out of people's faces is funny. It is not. Hoorah, you got rich because you know how to type and use paint. BFD, turd. Lastly I really have something against people who try to publicly make that transition from regular person who blogs to internet/real life celebrity. It is never done gracefully, and when you are featured on Cribs, you just look poor. Perez Hilton tries this. He talks about how he loves hunky celebrities, wants to lose weight blah blah blah then turns around and starts pushing his book down your throat and talks about how he wuz t0tally hangin wif Katy Perry n shiz. Suck. Oh, one more thing: he always posts shitty new music that will "get you bumpin'" and it sucks and that's how people like Katy Perry and Lady Gaga have careers right now. DOUBLE SUCK.




My last hate for the day is:

Gilmore Girls

This show is an anomaly as far as I am concerned. How something so stupid could last for what, seven seasons? is beyond anything my mind can handle.

The odd relationship between mother and daughter is really scary. I imagine the only people that enjoy this are mothers that have daughters going through their teen angst/rebellious phase, and dream of having such a witty, trusting relationship with their daughters. Note to these women: this relationship is unhealthy. The daughter should not be the mother. Another disgusting thing about this show is the terrible banter. I have had thoughts of throwing my television to get that bitch Lorelai to stop talking and stop being so fucking annoying. She's like one of those annoying kids from high school that say things like "Pink pony!" and bust a gut. Not funny. Just annoying. Also, no one really talks like that because of how stupid it sounds and because no one can get a word in while you're trying to ramble on and demonstrate how "on the same page" and how freakishly close you are with your daughter. Finally, Lorelai and Rory, why don't you make something fucking happen during your show.Ohhh! I get it- Lorelai works, Rory goes to school and you walk to a diner owned by a disgruntled idiot and steal coffee. SEVEN FUCKING SEASONS?! What is wrong with the world?


My only love for the day:
Kings of Leon


Yes, I DID try to find the gayest picture of them that I could, because if I didn't you'd be blown away by their beauty.They are three brothers and a cousin, and I don't know how such beauty could come from one set of ovaries (I'm going by majority here. I am aware there were two sets of ovaries involved in their creation). Aside from being everything I desire in my future husband (Southern, beautiful, rich...), these fellows are quite talented. I will say a lot of their music isn't for everyone, but their latest album Only By the Night is really one for the masses. My mom likes it, I like it, John Mayer likes it. They also seem to be pretty funny dudes. I'd seriously consider throwing back some whiskey and making memories with these guys kind of funny (and I don't just hang out with anyone). Check out their home videos on their YouTube and tell me you don't fall in love. My final reason for loving Kings of Leon is a bit juvenile, some would say, but it's because the singer is the most gorgeous creature my eyes have ever had the pleasure of seeing. Feast your eyes:

His name is Caleb and he will be mine. So he's dating a model and lives in a different state and has body guards you say? Pish posh. Nothing can stop love, Caleb, don't forget that, cupcake.

Golden Globez?

Today, our hatez is Angelina Jolie.

Angelina Jolie is a freak. From Billy Bob Thorton to having 854 kidz, this bitch is just nuts. I don't like her because she's a homewrecker, and despite what anyone says, they all agree and are 100% on Jennifer Aniston's side. I also hate her because she looks like a blowfish or something. Really, if that's plastic surgery, STOP. If it's natural, GET PLASTIC SURGERY. I just really don't get down with her whole I'm-a-humanitarian-I-love-everyone-and-everything-and-I'm-hot-but-I-don't-want-to-be-just-another-hot
-girl-so-I-have-tattoos-and-many-races-of-kids-to-be-edgy vibe. It's whack. Sort of like me saying whack. I think Angelina Jolie is a terrible actress, which is proven in such films as Lara Croft:Tomb Raider and Mr & Mrs Smith. Oh geez, she can make a serious face and glare whilst wearing a body suit. Pure talent, apparently. Lastly, I hate Angelina Jolie because of what she did to Brad Pitt. When he was with Jennifer Aniston, he was beautiful. Like, should have a monument made of him and should sneak through my window every night beautiful. Now, whether the cause is trying to keep track of 293 kids or if he caught something on one of his trips overseas, bitch looks rough. He looks old and sort of had and I don't like it. As a matter of fact, if current Brad came knocking on my window, I'd still have sex with him, but I'd call him John Mayer the whole time.


Today I love Kate Winslet.
Wow. How could one not? She's flawlessly beautiful, a great actress, only has 2 kids, I could go on and on. What really sparked my love for Kate, though, was her finally winning a Golden Globe last night.

Graceful, endearing, sweet. I actually teared up when she was giving that speech. But what I really loved, was "Anne, Meryl, Kristin. Oh God who's the other one?!" In yr face Angelina. Kate Winslet is hot and she rules.