Sometimes I get funny while I'm drunk.

Dear Match.com,
Please stop "matching" me with the ugliest dudes on the face of the earth. Specifically noting "Rabidbassist". I have previously denied him on several occasions. I would surely pay for your services (which I'm sure you can see that I currently do not), but the only people you seem to be showing me are every day trolls. Why would I take interest in this type of person? Surely anyone that holds themselves in a generally high regard would find these "suitors" laughable. I guess I'll get to the point and either ask you to please make men in the Tampa Bay area more attractive (both physically and intellectually), which you and I both know isn't possible because I think I'm correct in assuming you aren't God? or please stop wasting my time and actually pay attention to the details that I so truthfully told you, and stop telling me my "matches" are ugly idiots.

Drunkenly and disappointedly yours,
Jennifer L. Norris



This will probably be either A) deleted when I sober up and realize it is unrelated to this blog or B) turn into a hatez directed at Match.com. Who knows?!


Edit: I decided to leave it primarily because I was what some may describe as "totally shitfaced" when I wrote it and I am impressed with how much it makes sense and has no errors in spelling or grammar. It is often difficult for me to speak clearly when drunk, let alone write an e-mail complaint.

I will make a note that Match.com, being the sons of bitches that they are, couldn't even take the time to have one of their minions write me a response. Ohh, no. They had to send me an automatic response letter detailing the search features of their site. They are either the funniest or most half-assed people on the planet. Either way, this will be war.