hatezorlovez

Possibly because of PMS or just because I am who I am, I find myself in an irate mood and I will take it out on:

Techno

God, I hate techno music and all that comes along with it. The music is just terrible. How hard is it to take a ten second clip of music and repeat it to the point of it becoming mind numbing? I do believe mind numbing and a solid thrusting beat are the only reasons this music was created, thus providing the patrons of this genre a reason to "totally wig out" and rub Vicks Vaporub on eachother. If you're not familiar with this "music", turn on your popular radio station on a Friday night and see what comes on. Yes, that annoying high-pitched repetitive bullshit IS considered music, but don't let it get you down if you're not hip to the jive. The people that consider it music typically like to do ecstasy, have facial piercings, and still wear Jnco jeans while sucking on pacifiers. I once dated a dude who did ecstasy on more than one occasion and he said it "was all the love he could ever want to feel". What a pussy. (He turned out to be psychotic.) Neon colors, same sex rubbing, sex in public, strobe lights, neon dreads, and platform shoes are all, as far as I am concerned, to be blamed on techno music. Those things alone are enough to make me want to break every set of turn tables in the world, even if it means I'll never be able to hear my favorite Salt n Peppa jams fuse into Sir Mix A Lot. It's a small price to pay, as far as I'm concerned.


I was going to write about how much I hatez Katy Perry next, but I fear my anger has taken it's toll and I don't have the energy to truly describe how much I loathe that bitch. Instead, I'll keep it short and do a lovez about:

Saint Bernards

I want 9,234,876 of these to let crawl all over my face. When they're puppies, of course. Have you ever seen Beethoven? These big, clumsy bastards are the cutest things in the world. I would almost be happier if a slimy little St. Bernard came out of me instead of a kid. Seriously, can't you just imagine laying in a big king size bed with one of these to cuddle up to? I could possibly turn into a crazy St. Bernard lady and never get married. One Saint Bernard wearing a mini beer keg? YES, PLZ!