Monday, August 17, 2009

I hatez:
Group Mirror Pictures

mirror pic Pictures, Images and Photos

Is it not bad enough that you're taking pictures of yourself in the mirror, much less with another person? This is one of those things that you would both be like "Man, that's so gay. We don't do that" but then do it and let it slide. And when you're making your stupid faces that you think make you look cute, your friend should really be telling you that you look dumb, but instead she's focusing on making her own stupid faces to put up on MySpace to fish for compliments with. I don't really know how to describe it, but you both know it's not something you should be doing, yet you let the other persons doing it give you permission. Note:they are doing the same thing. MySpace is what ruined the world, man.

Going Green

Go Green Pictures, Images and Photos

I don't necessarily hate the idea of doing your part to help save the environment, although I will keep driving SUV's and throwing away my trash like normal. Let's just get into it: I don't care if you drive a hybrid to Forever 21 to pick out clothes that we made by under payed kids in a different country. I also don't think that you using a canvas bag that has the recycle symbol on it really does anything to save the environment, but hey, I could be wrong. I just think it's bullshit that people use it as an excuse to be hip. Riding bikes is cool, so you're going to ride a bike and blame it on being "green". Shut the fuck up. You want a cause? Go to your downtown and help out some poor people, go donate blood, go volunteer to hang out with sick kids. People are disgusting these days. Am I the only one that sees it? Ahhhh, fuck it. Whatever.

Velour Jumpsuits

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These things are disgusting. And have you ever noticed that it's never svelte, cute girls that wear them, it's bitches that probably wear them because they can't find normal pants that fit, and they think it's cute to show their cellulite and look like Anna Nicole Smith. Gross. Gross. Gross. Also, if you're so dumb that you would pay upwards of $150 for some goddamn sweatpants, then you deserve to be raped by Juicy Couture and look like a moron.


My only lovez for the day is

Jordin Sparks

Teen Choice Awards '09 Pictures, Images and Photos

I love her mainly because she's gigantic. She's like six feet tall and just huge, yet still adorably lovely. And look at that smile! I'd pay serious money for that yapper. She also has this single called "Battlefield" out right now, and I've been in one of those moods where I'm only listening to the radio, I can't get it out of my head. I absolutely love it. I totally just lost my train of thought because I was looking at a picture of her, and Christ she's gorgeous. I don't remember any thing else I was going to write because I was just hypnotized by her teeth. Sorry.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I hatez
Disney "Stars"

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It's just such bullshit. They're cute little girls and all, but they suck at everything they do. They're not good actresses, and NONE of them can sing. But mainly, I hate them because I'm jealous. When I was fifteen, I just wanted to wear really expensive clothes and not go to school. And I wanted to be loaded for the rest of my life. Then, when I hit seventeen, I wanted to get fucked up all the time and dress like a whore. Man, these kids are livin' the life. Is there a God? Why does he hate me? I'll wear glitter and hair extensions. Disney doesn't like people past 17, you say? Fuck you, Disney. Fuck you really hard.

Sour Candy

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Fuck. This. You'll probably disagree with me because sour candy probably reminds you of when you were young and stupid and liked the pain this shit causes, but I wasn't a moron like you. I do not like that it squeezes my jaws and hurts, I don't like that it gives you those little bumps in your mouth, and I don't like that it makes my teeth all squeaky and gross. 'Nuff said.

Lastly,
SONIC


sonic Pictures, Images and Photos

can eat a dick.



I LOVEZ:

John motherfucking Mayer

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MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Now, don't take that as I find him attractive. I don't. I actually think he looks sort of trollish or something. But, I would still have his children. He is sexy. And I don't really say that because it sounds pretty gay, but it's true in his case. Also, he's smart, funny, and he's like, insightful and caring and deep. Or at least that's how I paint him in my mind? I have yet to experience John Mayer live, because one of two things would happen: I would either literally secrete my pants off and/or get arrested for sexual molestation. Not many people have this effect on me, so I'll admit the shit when it happens.

Kittens

kittens Pictures, Images and Photos

What is there to say really? I luz them. They cute. And because of lolCats, when I see them I only want to speak in internet lingo, and that's just funny.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Hm. Today I hatez:


White Trash Thug Kids

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Man, I hate these kinds of kids. When I was in middle school, I rode the bus with a bunch of them for some God awful reason. We called them "River Rats" because they were all dirty and lived by a river (living on the water typically is a sign of wealth, unless the only time you live on the water is when your trailer park floods, which was the case). Anyway, they all used to talk about giving blow jobs and shit, and I'm like, "Geez, we're in 7th grade." Needless to say, if I give you the rider list for bus 2467, you'll find that all of them have been arrested several times and/or have at least 3 kids. This is my biggest problem: they keep procreating and starting this cycle of shit. It pisses me off. I don't want my kids near these kinds of people. I have a plan to eliminate them. Throw all Roca-Wear, Fubu, and wife beaters off a bridge, and watch them all follow.

I also hatez
Glam Rock Idiots

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I mostly encounter these kids in Atlanta for some reason. Why do they think it's cool to look like the New York Dolls? Why do they think it's cool to wear leather and leopard print whilst having dicks? Someone please clue me in.

Hot Dudes With Weird Flaws

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This is such a bummer. Maybe I'm too anal or have high standards, but fuck. I just can't think a dude is hot when there's something really distracting like a huge mole or long nose hairs. I'm not even talking about rotting teeth or missing limbs (which I have dated...). That shit, you know what you're getting into. The worst is when you're like, "Damnnnnnn. Sons FOINE. Bagged a babe. Why is he single? Let me make out with him." And then you rub your finger over a big mole or see a weird birthmark or ugh, I don't want to keep going. I'll vomit.


I lovez
Reynold

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He died. I miss him. Goddamn, he was beautiful.


My Best Friends

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Mainly, I just love them because they're both really, really attractive and I pretty much only like to associate with attractive people. I also love them because they're fun. Like, idiotically silly. And they're really good looking. Let me know if you want the digits. And I'll probably tell you no because you're probably ugly.

Lititz, Pennsylvania

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Lastly, I love Lititz, Pennsylvania. It is the most perfect place on Earth. Let me count the ways:
1. Best. Grass. Ever. Seriously, napping like there's no tomorrow.
2. Great weather. Adds to the glorious napping.
3. The whole town smells like chocolate. No shit. There's this old chocolate factory located right in the center of the town, which is like 4 square miles, so the whole thing just smells wonderful all the time.
4. Fireflies.
5. It has the most wonderful Fourth of July celebration ever to exist (and it's also the longest, consistant one in the history of the United States!). It's ridiculously cute and perfect. People dancing, kids with Sparklers. Parades, hot dogs, Miss Lititz Pageant. Imagine the American Dream of Fourth of July's and this kicks it's ass times about 5,000.
That's all I've got really. It's not something you can describe. You just have to go. Oh, but if you do, don't mind all the horse shit and corn, blame the Amish.