I'm in a shitty mood.

I lovez:

Social Networking Sites

I don't really love these. I think they're sort of depressing. Everyone has that friend that tries to be too witty and weird and whatever, there's always that faggot who writes motivational shit all the time and lastly, my personal favorite, the person who, despite being at a computer, types in "text". I really like what it shows about people. Take me, for example. I have no friends these days and don't have a life either, so I use social networking to entertain myself and talk about the things I would otherwise tell another human being. I also use them to look at myself. I am really narcissistic. I also like the picture aspect of social networking sites. Let's use Facebook, since it seems to be most popular these days: if you look at the pictures someone posts of themselves, you might think "Oh hai! When did he/she get so attractive? I always remember him/her having bad skin and stupid hair." THEN, you look at those "tagged" pictures and the truth comes out. You would think that knowing this process of finding out your true ugliness could be avoided by not letting people tag you, but people are just too stupid. Mainly that's my whole point. I'm really included in this. I am an idiot on the internet and you are too. Thnx 4 da gud tymez, internetz.





Dating Websites

While I'm on the subject of the internet, I'll just go ahead and knock this out, too. You might remember my rant about Match.com and might think that would have ended my quest to find cyber love, but you would be incorrect. Since then I've tried a few more and it's obviously ended up turning out really well. I CONSTANTLY have super guidos, fat dudes, wiggers, and just the best types of men saying things like "U R s0 FINEE" or "whats up iam corey i was looking around on here and seen u and would love to get to know u somemore u sound cool and u r super sexy hit me up sometime." Who doesn't love a man that doesn't know what punctuation is? I did have one odd bit of luck from the internet, but he didn't like me. Dang it. Whatevs. I've got plenty of bangin' dudes just loading up my inbox! Stick n' move, ya dig?!


My only hatez for the day is

MTV

I guess I just hate MTV for a few reasons:
1. I'm jealous of everyone on this channel. Either because they are so idiotic they can't possibly process the things that I think about that bum me out and make me feel inadequate, or because they are ridiculously attractive and rich.
2. They don't show anything good anymore. No more Beavis and Butthead, no more Daria, NO MORE TRL?! Also, the only time they actually show music is in clips between their shitty dating shows, and it's basically what people nowadays believe to be good hip-hop (See:Lil' Mama). So wrong.
3. On a more serious note, they have such a platform to reach young people and get them to treat each other better and do good things, but instead they pump them full of The Hills and Made. I mean, good God, have you ever seen my Super Sweet 16? Do they understand that this just makes other stupid teenagers feel like this is what they have to do to be liked? Disssssssgusting. I get that they're just money hungry old guys, but I'm pretty sure that if they gave me a job I could still make them a shit load of money and not have young people with the mental capacity of a block of cheese. Just sayin'.
I could probably find about a billion other reasons to hate MTV, but it's all centered around the same shit. (Oh, canceling Singled Out? BIG MISTAKE, btw.) I guess they're just really lucky they made Jersey Shore, otherwise, I'd be cracking skulls.

020910

HATEZ:

"Queen Sized"


“If you knew that people would like you better if you lost weight, aren’t you just punishing yourself?”

Yes. You are. Everyone hates fat people, obviously. So it was a wise decision to make a movie about a girl who is fat and tries to show her mom (who nags her about being fat) and the "popular kids" (who make fun of her for being fat) that she's more than just a fat girl. How will she show them? Running for Homecoming Queen. What a fucking genius. My main problems with this movie, aside from the fact that it was made by Lifetime, are as follows:
1. The way they just call this girl fat all the time. Not even the people they are making fun of her, but like, her mom and school counselors. They act like it's cancer or something and they're totally rude about it.
2. How unrealistic it is. Aside from the completely obvious, they make it seem like she's the only and fattest person ever. And all of her stupid friends rally behind her cause even though they're not fat. But in doing so, they're basically calling her fat (see point #1). I don't know about you, but if I went to my best friend and I was all, "Mannn, I'm never going to be Homecoming Queen and date the quarterback because I'm such a disgusting fatbody!", she would be like, "No you're not, but, uh, why don't we start running." No way in hell would her response be to get people to vote for me for being fat. That's like, the cruelest joke ever.
3. I hate the way she makes being fat seem like it's the new goth kid. It's not some choice. There is no music to go along with fatness (well, Clay Aiken?). You don't have a designated lunch table. You're really just some nerd who happens to wear larger clothes. That's why you get made fun of. Fat is just your best quality, most likely. How about people wouldn't pick on you if you weren't such an idiot? Or maybe if you quit whining about how fat you are all the time and maybe told a joke you could get some friends? Sure, Funny Fat Friend isn't Prom Queen, but it's better than Annoying Whiney Self-Righteous Fat Girl. BTW, I'm sure those "normal" unpopular kids you said you represented think you're fat and dumb too. Shut it, Nikki Blonski.

Don't watch it.



Megan Fox

Right. I get it. She's really pretty. Sort of. She's also kind of mannish. Oh, wait. She's an actress? She's done great films like Jennifer's Body, Tranformers,and, hold the phone! Transformers 2?! Do I really have to keep going? Is it really not obvious that people put up with her shrill voice and moronic facial expressions simply so they can maybe get a glimpse of her hot bod? Not convinced? Check this shit out:

"I always went with the banana because it was skinnier".
Wait, wait, wait. She looks like Angelina Jolie and has a sweeeeeeet Marilyn Monroe portrait? I take it all back. She rulz.

Not.

I don't love anything today. Actually, I do, but that picture of Megan Fox has really just got me feeling a bit grossed out and I think I need to give myself some time.