020910

HATEZ:

"Queen Sized"


“If you knew that people would like you better if you lost weight, aren’t you just punishing yourself?”

Yes. You are. Everyone hates fat people, obviously. So it was a wise decision to make a movie about a girl who is fat and tries to show her mom (who nags her about being fat) and the "popular kids" (who make fun of her for being fat) that she's more than just a fat girl. How will she show them? Running for Homecoming Queen. What a fucking genius. My main problems with this movie, aside from the fact that it was made by Lifetime, are as follows:
1. The way they just call this girl fat all the time. Not even the people they are making fun of her, but like, her mom and school counselors. They act like it's cancer or something and they're totally rude about it.
2. How unrealistic it is. Aside from the completely obvious, they make it seem like she's the only and fattest person ever. And all of her stupid friends rally behind her cause even though they're not fat. But in doing so, they're basically calling her fat (see point #1). I don't know about you, but if I went to my best friend and I was all, "Mannn, I'm never going to be Homecoming Queen and date the quarterback because I'm such a disgusting fatbody!", she would be like, "No you're not, but, uh, why don't we start running." No way in hell would her response be to get people to vote for me for being fat. That's like, the cruelest joke ever.
3. I hate the way she makes being fat seem like it's the new goth kid. It's not some choice. There is no music to go along with fatness (well, Clay Aiken?). You don't have a designated lunch table. You're really just some nerd who happens to wear larger clothes. That's why you get made fun of. Fat is just your best quality, most likely. How about people wouldn't pick on you if you weren't such an idiot? Or maybe if you quit whining about how fat you are all the time and maybe told a joke you could get some friends? Sure, Funny Fat Friend isn't Prom Queen, but it's better than Annoying Whiney Self-Righteous Fat Girl. BTW, I'm sure those "normal" unpopular kids you said you represented think you're fat and dumb too. Shut it, Nikki Blonski.

Don't watch it.



Megan Fox

Right. I get it. She's really pretty. Sort of. She's also kind of mannish. Oh, wait. She's an actress? She's done great films like Jennifer's Body, Tranformers,and, hold the phone! Transformers 2?! Do I really have to keep going? Is it really not obvious that people put up with her shrill voice and moronic facial expressions simply so they can maybe get a glimpse of her hot bod? Not convinced? Check this shit out:

"I always went with the banana because it was skinnier".
Wait, wait, wait. She looks like Angelina Jolie and has a sweeeeeeet Marilyn Monroe portrait? I take it all back. She rulz.

Not.

I don't love anything today. Actually, I do, but that picture of Megan Fox has really just got me feeling a bit grossed out and I think I need to give myself some time.