hatezorlovez

Hm. Today I hatez:


White Trash Thug Kids

Man, I hate these kinds of kids. When I was in middle school, I rode the bus with a bunch of them for some God awful reason. We called them "River Rats" because they were all dirty and lived by a river (living on the water typically is a sign of wealth, unless the only time you live on the water is when your trailer park floods, which was the case). Anyway, they all used to talk about giving blow jobs and shit, and I'm like, "Geez, we're in 7th grade." Needless to say, if I give you the rider list for bus 2467, you'll find that all of them have been arrested several times and/or have at least 3 kids. This is my biggest problem: they keep procreating and starting this cycle of shit. It pisses me off. I don't want my kids near these kinds of people. I have a plan to eliminate them. Throw all Roca-Wear, Fubu, and wife beaters off a bridge, and watch them all follow.

I also hatez
Glam Rock Idiots

I mostly encounter these kids in Atlanta for some reason. Why do they think it's cool to look like the New York Dolls? Why do they think it's cool to wear leather and leopard print whilst having dicks? Someone please clue me in.

Hot Dudes With Weird Flaws

This is such a bummer. Maybe I'm too anal or have high standards, but fuck. I just can't think a dude is hot when there's something really distracting like a huge mole or long nose hairs. I'm not even talking about rotting teeth or missing limbs (which I have dated...). That shit, you know what you're getting into. The worst is when you're like, "Damnnnnnn. Sons FOINE. Bagged a babe. Why is he single? Let me make out with him." And then you rub your finger over a big mole or see a weird birthmark or ugh, I don't want to keep going. I'll vomit.


I lovez
Reynold

He died. I miss him. Goddamn, he was beautiful.


My Best Friends

Mainly, I just love them because they're both really, really attractive and I pretty much only like to associate with attractive people. I also love them because they're fun. Like, idiotically silly. And they're really good looking. Let me know if you want the digits. And I'll probably tell you no because you're probably ugly.

Lititz, Pennsylvania

Lastly, I love Lititz, Pennsylvania. It is the most perfect place on Earth. Let me count the ways:
1. Best. Grass. Ever. Seriously, napping like there's no tomorrow.
2. Great weather. Adds to the glorious napping.
3. The whole town smells like chocolate. No shit. There's this old chocolate factory located right in the center of the town, which is like 4 square miles, so the whole thing just smells wonderful all the time.
4. Fireflies.
5. It has the most wonderful Fourth of July celebration ever to exist (and it's also the longest, consistant one in the history of the United States!). It's ridiculously cute and perfect. People dancing, kids with Sparklers. Parades, hot dogs, Miss Lititz Pageant. Imagine the American Dream of Fourth of July's and this kicks it's ass times about 5,000.
That's all I've got really. It's not something you can describe. You just have to go. Oh, but if you do, don't mind all the horse shit and corn, blame the Amish.