Monday, December 28, 2009

Hatez:

Dudes

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What female doesn't hate dudes a majority of their life? I certainly don't mean that I like women in any sort of romantic way (and BELIEVE me, sometimes I wish I did since men are such shitty creatures, but vaginas just aren't attractive to me and women are a whole different ball game of crazy, so I shall continue my quest for a decent male, despite my feelings about to be explained). I hate them for a few simple reasons.
1. They are not ever what you think. Part of this is our fault. We have some idea of what we want in a male and twist small actions and words to have different meanings, and we project our ideal male on to anyone we want, hoping it'll actually come true. Wrong. Side note: I hate being wrong thus giving me yet another strike against dick-having humans. Men are good at fooling you. In the beginning you think what they do is out of nervousness, them trying to impress you, etc., because you cannot fathom someone being that stupid or so shitty. Wrong again. Even when you've been with someone a long time, they get comfortable and everything you thought you figured out goes right out the window. It's bullshit.
2.They think they're good at sex. Now, this is a topic I've thought about for a long time and my conclusion (and there are scientific studies that prove this point. Google it, mother fucker) is that when a woman is more emotionally attached to a man, intimacy is better. Since all men are idiots, I have never been emotionally attached. It's like math. But this is sort of my fault. What I hate is when they keep doing something and just because you don't want to hurt their fragile, little male egos, you pretend to like it. PRETEND. I would say the most joy most women get out of sex is laughing about it later. IDIOTS.
3. Men are stupid. Sure they're not as confusing as women, but they are just generally less intelligent. From the things they like to their transparent emotions to their primate-like thought processes. They're just dumb.
Some day soon I'll play the other side of the coin and talk about how stupid and crazy women are, but today men can suck it.



The Lottery

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I hate the lottery. It just teases me and gets me to think about all the wonderful things I would do. Like buy ten Saint Bernards and a VW thing and go to the beach all the time. I have literally sat down and tallied up the number frequency for the last six months hoping to get some sort of prize, but then I realized I am just stupid and that is completely pointless. I also hate the lottery because when I don't win, I get really mad and mean for a few days because for some reason I feel that my two dollars entitles me to win more than the other few million people playing. Have you noticed that I am a bit indignant and self righteous? Well, that's a stupid observation and you're wrong. LOLZ!




Lovez



The Office

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I love The Office almost as much as I love my mother. I really love Dwight Schrute. For a long while, I almost cared more about Jim and Pam's relationship than any one I had going on in my life. It makes me laugh, I love to laugh. They did a great job casting, a great job writing, and bears, beats, Battle Star Galactica.


Siblings

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I really love the dynamics of siblings relationships. You love them like you love your parents, but you can treat them like friends and not feel bad about it. They are also the few people in your life that it is acceptable to get physically violent with. I guess it's also kind of cool when the older ones look out for you and the younger ones look up to you, but that's just pansy shit.

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