Maybe I don't actually hate everything about buffets. I like having different varieties of food. And I don't hate all buffets (Have you ever been on a cruise and been to one of those midnight chocolate buffets? Shit Sonnn!), I basically just hate the disgusting ones that normal people are allowed at. As if I don't feel bad enough about myself that I feel the need to go to a restaurant where I am going to eat more than one plate, I see some big fat lady in front of me in line for the macaroni and cheese and can't help but think it will one day be me. That sucks. Just in general all the people at buffets are hugely fat. Being fat is whatever. This was me in third grade:
The difference is that I knew I was fat and if I ever went to a buffet, I'd only eat salad and then take fried food home so people thought I had a thyroid problem or something. It seems like fat people at buffets are shameless. I also hate that people let their fucking kids run around and be loud. Put them on a leash or something. I don't want their booger-picking fingers touching my french fries, for Christ's sake. My last logical point is that when food is being made in mass quantities, it just can't be well made. And most buffets are like $15, so I'm not going to let Golden Corral fuck me out of my money for dog food. I ain't no sucka!
I also hatez
I don't own a Mac. I want to own a Mac. Just because they have built in cameras, really. Anyway, Apple has just started some sort of hipster cult with this bullshit.
Their advertising department really deserves some credit with they way they made Mac users seem so cool and attractive and hip like Justin Long and the rest of the world fat, middle-aged balding men. Genius. How wonderful is it that you can go to forums and talk to other people about what kind of computer you have. I always wondered if I was missing something about Macs that got them all this hoopla, but I am just not getting it. Do they even have solitare? Can someone please tell me? I've really been slacking lately on being hip and trendy, some would even say I'm not cool, but I really think investing in a Mac would help. Also, where exactly IS the Mac Community? (Dad joke? Check.) I don't really care about the actual computer battle of Mac VS PC, as long as I can read shitty blogs and look at pictures of myself I'm cool, but seriously, Mac Community? Come on.
Today I lovez:
What? It's a sweet phone. The Super Phone, if you will. I don't feel like it makes me part of any club except the "I Have Fingers Too Fat for My Phone" club, and that's not a glamorous one.
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I physically cannot eat at a buffet, this dissapoints my children very much... I have been known to gag while walking into a Golden Corral
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