hatezorlovez

So, last night I took a night off from my wild party animal ways and stayed in. While flipping through what could possibly be the worst selection of things to watch that I have ever encountered, I came upon one of those "Locked Up" shows about prisons. It was about Iowa State Penitentiary. Thus coming up with today's first hatez:

Iowa

Iowa is one of those places where you're just like, "What the fuck? Why do you exist?". And that's one of the reasons I don't like it. Look at that map. Does any of that look familiar? No. Because everyone knows Iowa sucks and they'll never go there, so why waste time learning about it's stupid cities? And really, you have just as many resources as every other state but other states actually do something other than suck. Start a vegetable, get a good sports team, something. I think that if I won a free trip to Iowa, I wouldn't even go.
I didn't know too much about this huge shithole, so I took the liberty of Wikipedia-ing it, and still found no reasons to lessen the hate. Wikipedia did, however, give me more reasons to hate Iowa. For example, Iowa decided to start a war with me back in the late seventies by letting Ashton Kutcher (aka: incomparable douche bag) be birthed there. What Iowa should have done was create a sink hole and swallow Ashton's mom before she had a chance to pop out something that universe would regret creating. Way to go, Iowa. This big stupid state also was the meeting ground for Slipknot. Yeah, those funk metal idiots who wear masks and created a whole cult following of fat socially awkward teen aged boys.
Iowa, why aren't you our great nation's capital? Oh yeah, you suck. Why are we wasting money putting a fence in at the Mexican border instead of around you? They at least have good food.


My lovez for the day is

Chicken Wings

There isn't a whole lot to say about chicken wings except they are delicious and I would eat them every day if I could. My record is 17. I am awesome. Go buy me some.